April 24, 2004
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The Night and the Mirage
Sometimes, we are so thirsty we’ll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when we discover there’s no water, we’ll drink the sand. There is nothing lonelier than a stranger’s bed. You know that feeling. You wake up naked, next to a person you hardly knew. Both of you are pretending to be asleep as to avoid the inevitable awkward conversation. There is something comical about exchanging bodily fluids with someone whose last name is still a minor mystery to you.
Back in the college days these encounters were an affirmation of reckless youth, a joyous exploration that is, if not forgivable, then at least understandable. Now, as I approach 30, these encounters seem dishonest, and painful, and sad. That is why I try avoiding these encounters. I have succeeded for quite a while, until tonight.
I woke up in her room.
“Alicia,” I said softly, trying not to sound surprised that another human being is lying naked next to me.
Her response is critical here. Will she say something witty and irreverent as to make light of the whole situation? Will she say something practical, as to make this awkward situation feel more routine and bearable? Will she say something profound and make me feel insignificant by comparison?
“Hey, where did you get that scar?” she asked, playfully tracing the hint of a scar along my abdomen.
“Oh that,” I chuckled. “Do you want the exciting version or the truth?”
“After all that I think the truth is in order,” she said in a mock official tone of voice. We both laughed.
So I told her my scar story. Then something amazing happened. She pointed to a small scar above her right knee and told me a story about that scar. We swapped scar stories for about an hour. We started with visible scars and drifted towards the invisible kind. She told me about her fears of not making it in art school. “What if they found out I’m no good!” I confessed something equally important: “I just found my first white hair yesterday, I’m turning 30 in two years!”
We laughed and sighed and laughed again. When we went back to bed we were no longer strangers. For tonight at least, my scars are healed.
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I haven't followed this strip for a long time, but even a casual fan like myself can appreciate significance of this strip.
I always wanted to see the helmet off, but not like this. Come home soon B.D. ...
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Saw this over at the Rack and thought it was too funny to keep to myself:
"Wouldn't that be a re-election campaign?" mused DocCoyote. You can buy this bumper sticker here (where you can buy other treasures such as, "my killer robot skull fucked your honor student.") Who would the Democrats go for? Probably Hermione. She has the labor background (SPEW), minority credentials (mudblood), and a sense of ivory tower intellectualism we Democrats love so much ("Are you a witch or AREN'T you?").
[Link credit: Icarus and Book.]
Comments (26)
Yeah dude, I've been there. I usually try to avoid sleeping with girls I like when I don't know them too well, because often sex too soon is the death knell of a potential relationship. However, I'm only like you when I have sex with girls that aren't attractive enough; then I feel really awkward, knowing I'm not going to see them again, yet feeling obligated to lay there, cuddle, and make conversation. Anyway, that's good this girl seems like she was able to handle sleeping with you so soon. Of course, the true test is whether you see each other again, and how well that goes.
haha thanks :] ... hows everything going?
I just randomly found your site- and I love the pic of the creatures from "Princess Mononoke." Awesome!
searching for blogs that don't suck. congrats, yours is the first I've found this evening.
that was beautifully written. bittersweet at first, then poignant. i can't relate. the rare times i've been tempted to do something like that, i've always had friends around to keep me in check.
i must say that was a beautiful mini story
Yet...without the abrasive taste of dry sand in one's mouth, how does one know to appreciate the pure joy of a satiated thirst?
A friend once told me, "The conscience def. hurts when all your other parts feel so good!" hahahaha
great blog.
I hate to join the choir, but what can I do, you really do have a great blog and I really enjoy reading it.
How did you come upon my blog? I think we might have some blogger friends in common! Hope you have a good week...
its amazing how we can find beauty in anything. even in a one night stand. nicely told.
your humour reminds me of Conan O'Brien...I'd heard about that speech so many times but the first time I ever went all the way through it was on your page. Thanks for sharing.
and good luck with the 'scar' girl. =)
The Voldemort sticker is hilarious. Your new profile pic is driving me nuts. Where is that from?!? I know I've seen it before, but I can't seem to place it right now...
i found my first white hair about two months ago. then my second a month after that. and considering i'm 28 in two months and my presently retiring mother has but two or three silver bad boys on her head, i'm a bit unnerved. so i feel you "val."
honestly i've never had these awkward mornings... maybe girls just think differently about "rude awakenings" in the morning than guys, or maybe it's just me. i guess i never cared much about what others think about me... so what if it doesn't work out? life still goes on, baby... with or without the him... in your case... her.
in fact it's not a matter of what he thinks about me, but more of what i think of him + what he thinks of me... well, it's too complicated to think about it. i guess if she's really the one for you then anything will work out... even if it's an awkward first morning.
patience is virtue. don't break off until you think you know her enough.
btw, thanks for that conan o'brien post... great speech. my flatmate graduated that year - and shared his video of o'brien's speech... absolutely amazing.
that's a really sweet story...are you telling it to get chicks?
Is there only one way to have the esteemed honor of hearing the exciting version? *grin*
An excellent post with a lot of honesty and heart!
smile. that was a lovely entry.
Funny... your first two paragraphs seem to hit home... not just very close to home... but HOME!!!!
Agh! Beren! I didn't know you had a Xanga! *subscribes*
*laugh* I also didn't realize you and vwiggin were the same person until a few weeks ago. I always thought "Boy, this guy reminds me of Beren." Which is a good thing, I think.
And dude, that was a cool mini-story, as others have said.
Wow!! Val, I think this entry really made me emotional, especially with the scars, quite an epic
LOL i'm sure we can all relate to that story. But then i've long since stopped with those "encounters" as they've made me feel more empty than fulfilled in the end. Nice site. =)
I hope Alicia doesn't mind your "kiss-and-tell" philosophy.
Anyway, I don't know how often you check your e-mail, so just to let you know, I dropped you a line...eh...or letter.
Take care!
thanks for the bday wishes
I like yours and Steve Martin's. And certainly hoping for yours. Although in my current experience, kisses are not needed to leave me wanting. Almost went down your lucrative legal path. But decided to try for what I want instead. Nice to hear from you. And not in the half-hearted manner the word nice is usually used.
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